TEAMWORK AT THE MOVIES: WHAT IS EATING GILBERT GRAPE?

By Valerie C. Dhanens, Ph.D.

In What Is Eating Gilbert Grape? the lead character, Gilbert Grape struggles with caring for his morbidly obese mother, Darlene, his developmentally disabled younger brother, Arnie, and the day-to-day sibling rivalry skirmishes with his two younger sisters, Amy and Ellen, who do the family’s shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

Lack of opportunities for career and meaningful relationships, only intensify the frustrations looming below the surface for the Grape family.  Gilbert’s particular list includes:

• The “mom and pop” grocery store where Gilbert works is being threatened by a big chain store
• Gilbert is Arnie’s primary caretaker, but Arnie keeps running away to climb the town’s water tower
• Gilbert has just discovered that their home is beginning to collapse under the weight of his mother who sleeps on the couch just above the main supportive beam
• Gilbert is having a “go nowhere” affair with a married woman
• His mother is the object of the town’s ridicule
• And, like the rest of the Grape family, he is struggling with how to meet his own needs and dreams but still remain loyal to his family

Things begin to change when Gilbert meets Becky who is traveling the country with her grandmother in their Airstream trailer.  One night a distracted Gilbert leaves Arnie overnight in the bathtub to spend time with Becky.  When he returns the next morning, Arnie is still in the tub sitting in the ice cold water.  The entire family reacts with anger over Gilbert’s dereliction of duty. 

Later, while Gilbert is talking with Becky at the market, Arnie slips away once again to climb the water tower.  This time he is arrested and put in jail, which results in their mother, who has not left the house in seven years, going to the police station to plead for his release.   Meanwhile, the townspeople point, gawk, and take pictures of the 500 pound “freak” en route to the jail and at the courthouse. 

In preparation for Arnie’s 18th birthday, Amy bakes him a beautiful cake.  When Arnie starts eating the cake the night before his party, Gilbert slaps him, and shocked at his own behavior, drives off in frustration.  Gilbert turns to Becky for perspective on the situation, and returns the next day to apologize to his family at the birthday party.

You are probably asking yourself, what does all of this have to do with teamwork?  In order to analyze the Grape family’s ability to act as a team, let’s use some of the principles of effective teamwork suggested by Dennis and Michelle Reina in Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace.

According to the authors, a team needs to manage expectations and establish boundaries.  They need a team purpose otherwise they are confused, anxious, and vulnerable.   The Grape team seems to have two overriding purposes, to keep their mother from exposure to ridicule and to protect Arnie.  But do they know and/or acknowledge each other’s goals – that Amy wants to get a job as a pastry chef in a larger town, that Ellen just wants to get away so that she can be a normal teenager, and finally, that as a twenty-five year old man, Gilbert is struggling to balance his own needs with the family’s problems?  At least outwardly, they do not!

Among the other teamwork principles cited by the authors include:

• Honoring Agreements – the family is justly upset when Gilbert forgets Arnie in the bath tub and slaps him the night before his 18th birthday party.  Gilbert has broken an unspoken rule.
• No Hidden Agendas – this includes not withholding information or not fully disclosing fears.  Watching the movie, one gets the feeling that everyone is afraid of what will happen when their mother dies.  Also, Gilbert has not let anyone know that the foundation of the house is close to collapsing.
• Sharing Information by Asking Questions and Raising Issues does not happen in the Grape family, most likely due to a pervasive feeling of “don’t rock the boat.”  Rather, they are in constant chaos and appear to be merely reacting to events that are happening to them.
• Tell the Truth – this is not happening either in that the family appears to be colluding at a subconscious level in order to keep things afloat.
• Admit Mistakes – this does occur when Gilbert makes amends to his mother, Arnie, and his sisters for slapping Arnie.

What we are not privy to is the discussion that must have occurred after Darlene climbs to the second floor for the first time in months to sleep in her own bed and passes away in her sleep.  We can only imagine what happens when Arnie is unable to wake her and screams to the rest of the family for help.  What we do see is the result of their reaching consensus that their mother’s death will not be subjected to the unkindness’s she experienced in her final years, and that it will be handled with respect and dignity.

In perhaps the most powerful scene in the movie, the Grape children remove the furniture from the house.  Then, after Gilbert and Arnie pour kerosene on the stairway and throughout the first floor, the match is lit, igniting the entire house in flames while Gilbert, Arnie, Amy and Ellen watch quietly – a powerful example of working together as a team to reach a mutually agreed-upon decision.   

In the movie’s final scene, one year later, we learn that Amy has a job in another city and Ellen has moved there with her.  Meanwhile, Gilbert and Arnie are waiting by the side of the road for the annual caravan of Airstream trailers.  Over the horizon the long line of trailers approaches.  As they get closer, the trailer in which Becky and her grandmother are riding stops to pick up Gilbert and Arnie and continues on.   A perfect example of teamwork at the movies!

Reina, D.S., and Reina, M.L. (1999). Trust and betrayal in the workplace: Building effective relationships in your organization. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler.

About the Author

Dr. Valerie Dhanens is an organizational leadership and training consultant with over 35 years in the private, academic, and government sectors.  Her special expertise includes organizational change, team development, feedback systems, training design and development, group dynamics, and facilitation, and individual, team, and organizational assessment.

Her book, Making Magic: Building Effective Teams, is a “how-to” guide to successful team building.  This step-by-step approach to planning, preparation, and facilitation of team building is designed to unleash the power of teams and answers the questions:

• What skills and abilities do I need to facilitate effective team building?
• How do I prepare for a team building session?
• How can participant resistance be overcome?
• What exercises can I use to gain participant commitment to the team and its mission?
• How can I ensure that any gains during the team building are maintained after the session?

The book is available on www.holisticteamsthatwork.com.

Read more articles by Valerie C. Dhanens, Ph.D.
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